Ack!

I completely spaced writing a post for yesterday. I blame evil wizards, or more accurately, the paper I was finishing up since I'm heading to Portland for an emergency dentist appointment today.

Anyways, GTAIV came out yesterday, it looks good and I can't wait for the weekend to come so that I can actually have some time to play my copy (which currently lies unopened). I'll be too busy for the rest of the day for another post, so I'll see you all on Sunday when I might actually have time to think for once in the past three weeks.

Fin

I take back everything bad I ever said about Assassin's Creed's story, because I just saw the last four episodes of Escaflowne.

I was enjoying Escaflowne before, it wasn't exactly genius in the writing department, but it was watchable, but in the last four episodes the writing took a turn for the "amazingly terrible". New plot points and characters are introduced, only to be solved in the next episode. The main character seems to have forgotten everything she has seen and heard up to this point. One of the major plot points is ignored as if it had never occured, and then there's the dialogue, which became cringe-worthy. The real topper though was the ending. I'm not going to spoil anything here, and I don't know how to make a jump, so I can't say my real thoughts, but I can tell you that it is bad. The ending is bad enough that if the rest of the series had been good, and those last four episodes hadn't been terrible, the show would still be terrible. It was bad enough that I wanted to physically harm the writers of the show.

For those of you who don't know me, I really like endings. I like it when things end, and I really like good endings. Good endings can improve a show/game/book's quality in my eyes several fold. On the other side of the coin, a bad ending can ruin a masterpiece. This is probably why I hate most books in the literary canon that everyone seems to love *cough*Hemmingway*cough. I seriously considered not finishing Persona 3 because I was afraid it was going to have a bad ending, and I didn't want to ruin that game.

When I say bad ending I don't mean a sad ending, a depressing ending, or even an ending that isn't an ending at all. A bad ending is one that leaves me not with contentment, excitement, depression, or any other single word feeling. A bad ending leaves me saying, "What the fuck was that!?"

I just don't understand how a writer can get through a series, a game, a book, and keep my interest until the end, and then write at their worst. The end should be when the writer pulls out all of their tricks, and you should be left amazed at what they did. However, I find it is all too common to have endings that just kind of slump over and are done. Even some of my favorite games fall into this category. I loved Dark Cloud 2 to death, but it had one of the worst endings I have come across. I mean really, the final boss didn't even have a unique song!

I wonder if the writers who make bad endings just don't know how to do it. They've been writing for so long, they don't know how to stop. So, rather than taking the time to really think it over and craft a finale, they just stop writing and call it good. Dang, now I'm really curious what the hell the writers and translators of Escaflowne were thinking.

Thank God For GTA (Good design That's Awesome)

First things first, watch this: Bad Design.

This is some of the worst design in a game I have ever seen. On a PC, which the version of Assassin's Creed that the video shows, you want to be able to get in and out of programs at the click of a mouse, and it is an industry standard to have a quit-to-desktop choice from the first time you ask it to quit. This design flaw is pretty bad by itself, but there are other reasons why I find Assassin's Creed a study in bad design.

-Give everyone localized accents except the main character.
-Give your worst voice actor the role of the main character.
-Make your main character an assassin who reveals his secret with five minutes of questioning.
-Make your main character, essentially, emotionless.
-Hide your invisible walls with giant blue clouds that clash horribly with the landscape
-Have a plot that a fifth-grader could have written
-Add a sci-fi twist to that plot that gets revealed in the INTRODUCTION.
-Give players the ability to run up walls, but make it slow and not fun
-Give players the ability to kill anyone, but hurt them for killing most
-Getting hit by a retarded person reveals that you are an assassin
-Running into a wall makes guards attack you
-Use four mission types over and over and over.
-Make a combat-system that doesn't take advantage of the ability to run around like spider-man
-Loading screens every eight seconds.
-Have loading screens for loading screens.

I could go on. Despite all of this, however, Assassin's Creed is pretty fun for a couple of hours, but I'm still glad I didn't buy it myself. What makes Assassin's Creed design hurt me so much, is that all of these things are blatant and easily fixable design flaws (for the most part). Heck, if they got rid the sci-fi twist about half of my complaints would be nullified along with it. Ubisoft had a great premise and I'm excited to see how the sequels turn out.

Also, I've been reading this webcomic all day. I really would love to see more games with the same kind of imagination that this comic has. I take that back, I would really love to see more
people with the same kind of imagination that this comic has.

So Wanna Say, But Really Shouldn't

Alright so I had an absurdly awesome idea for a game today and I really wish I had a development studio at my fingertips so that I could make it. Sadly, I do not have a development studio at my beck-and-call, but I still really like the idea, which is why you won't hear too many details from me (I'm kind of paranoid). Why I think it's a good idea is as follows:

It has a pretty and varied landscape.

It has very few, but extremely unique enemies. Similar in fashion to Shadow of the Colossus there are no enemies besides the few boss fights. This focus on single opponents allows for a lot of depth and detail in each of these enemies, and unlike Shadow of the Colossus, these wouldn't be the same kind of fight over and over with a slightly different puzzle each time. Each of these bosses are very different from one another, and the ways to defeat them are extremely different (think platformer versus fps different, or chess versus freeze-tag).

There's a story based around mystery and interpersonal relationships, like Lost, but I know what the hell is going on (seriously I haven't seen the invisible polar bear/t-rex in ages, where did they go, did they explain that on an episode that I missed?).

A defined area for the game world, as in I already know how much space is necessary and where everything should go. Also includes natural barriers to avoid the "invisible-wall" effect (and no, making the invisible walls visible a la Assassin's Creed does not count).

Online Multiplayer that works gameplay-wise (whether connections could handle it or not is something that I don't know enough to answer).

A gameplay experience that would change every single time.

A game world that continues to run as you play, so a second boss could run into you as you fight the first (though that shouldn't happen unless you've done something really bizarre with the first boss to change his location).

I could go on, but this is a really solid idea I feel (wish I could describe it more, but you'll have to talk to me in person for that, plus I really like it). I think the most interesting thing is how full of an idea it came to me. The gameplay, the world, the story, the characters, all of these came to me at the same time, which never happens. Oh well, if all goes according to plan, expect to see this game within ten years, until then, just try to imagine what I've got cooked up.

-1+2=0!?

Unfortunately it appears that I guessed correctly yesterday. Worry not though, I will be back tomorrow with actual things to say and time with which to say it!

ZZZ...

Spent most of today sleeping to make up for all-nighter and so I can do slightly more than just try to survive the rest of the week.

In other words I completely forgot about a post today. Expect similar results tomorrow unless I somehow manage to crush that 2 hours make-up for every 1 hour lost rule.

I Am Never Writing A Paper On Anything But My Mac Again

So... started the week off by pulling an all-nighter.

Yeah...

The worst part was that it wasn't even because I had that much work to do or I put it off that long, I was just having an absurd number of technical problems. Basically every time I tried to scroll down on my paper, there was a 1/12 chance of the program locking up and requiring me to force quit. I finally walked into class half an hour late because just as I was printing out the final copy my printer ran out of black ink, ran around looking for my spare cartridge that has learned how to become invisible, ran down to the library to print it out there only to find out that they don't support whatever crazy format I had my paper saved as so I had to run back to my room, change all of the black text into red, then run back down to the library so I could three-hole-punch the paper. From there it was a simple walk across the entire campus as the library and field house are at exact opposite ends, and voila, I was done.

All on no sleep.

For a couple hours there I was ready to kill someone with my hat, and I know I scared some people when I burst into the library the second time. So yeah, there's your post for today, not much, but I have to go do my homework for tomorrow.

Sorry

Have to work on a paper for class tomorrow so no post tonight.

To Save The World

Egads, almost completely forgot about a post. Alright so this morning I had to have a surreal poem for my poetry class, and I had come up with a couple, but none that I really liked, but then I had an amazing dream. The dream was just me in space and a god-like voice told me that there were five words that could save the world and that I had to ask my classmates for their definitions, and use the words and the definitions as my surreal poem. I got the words and their definitions, but I'm interested what some of you could come up with for definitions.

The words are as follows:

Bolono - pronounced bo-low-no

Djigane - pronounced G-gain

Udulube - pronounced ooh-do-lube

Bithtwixt - pronounced bith-twixt (as in betwixt)

Hammerfly - pronounced like hammer-fly

So just add any definitions you come up with to the comments section and have fun, it's not like the fate of the world rests on this.

Apology

I apologize to all those who have never played a Zelda game before, in my last rant I wasn't intending to talk to you, this review was for people who have played other games in the series. If you want a review of the game for non-gamers just read my first sentence.

Legend Of Zelda: Twilight Princess

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess is a good game, and if you have a Wii or Gamecube and enjoy Zelda games I can only recommend its purchase. Please understand that this statement is true, no matter what I say from this point onwards.

#1. I hated playing Twilight Princess.

Twilight Princess was the first Legend of Zelda (LoZ) title that I have played for the purpose of "finding out what comes next." A Link to the Past, Ocarina of Time, Wind Waker, these three titles I spent more time just dicking around and having fun than following the story. Heck, I never even got around to beating Wind Waker. I played these titles for fun, and that was it. I didn't give a second thought to the story.

Twilight Princess was the exact opposite. I would get frustrated and angry when solving a puzzle took too long. I blazed my way through Twilight Princess, there was no five minute breaks to go hop over that fence or half-day detours to see if I can jump from from the top of the fire temple and land at the entrance (something I have done more than once in Ocarina of Time). I entered a temple, and within two hours, finished it. I did not toy with bosses, because I thought they looked cool or they were fun to fight, I decimated them, because Link had to save the princess.

Twilight Princess takes the Zelda series into a whole new world. The characterization and story, while not top-tier, are amazing and unheard of in the series. Link has a life before you come in, Hyrule is a world that continues to live and breath after you leave. These are great things, but they did make me feel a bit like a visitor. I felt more like a wanderer who just happens to brush through town when things are a little hairy. I saved the day, and then I leave, and not one person knows my name.

Notice that I have been making a distinction between myself (the player) and Link. While Link is, as he always has been, silent, through his expressions he conveyed much more of a character in Twilight Princess than we've seen before; and through the interactions with his friends, I got to learn a bit about who he was. We both wanted to save Hyrule and Zelda, but he was going to stay and live in that world, while I would leave for another land. I have never felt this kind of separation in a Zelda game before. Not that I hated it, on the contrary it made the world a lot less lonely (unlike, say, Metroid Prime), but if I was already feeling this separation, then they may as well have given Link a voice. Of course, link wasn't the only one to help the world feel less lonely, Midna was there as well.

Midna was, a genius idea. Take Navi, make her useful, then make her sneaky and self-centered, and you've got a bit of what Midna is like. Midna is, by far, the most complex and fleshed-out character in Twilight Princess, and she's also the only one with you the entire time (almost). Midna has her own desires, her own goals, and, contrary to her role, she often makes Link figure things out for himself rather than just give him the answer. The result is a companion that you can really bond too, and perhaps the greatest achievement of Twilight Princess. Every game could gain by following her example.

Gameplay is standard Zelda fare, if you've played Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask, Wind Waker, then you've played Twilight Princess, except maybe a little more fun. Twilight Princess adds the ability to turn into a wolf for certain sections, and while this does help break up the monotony, the gameplay in the Zelda series is fun enough that it really wasn't necessary.

Honestly I hated the wolf thing, I didn't like the way it played, and I hated how all of the wolf sections were exactly the same (since the wolf never got any new skills, the puzzles for it never changed). The worst part about it was that you couldn't ride horseback when you were a wolf, and the horseback riding/fighting in Twilight Princess were, far and away, the funnest sections of the game. I can't say anything without having spoilers, but just know that all of the fights on horseback were amazing and that there should have been more of them.

All in all Twilight Princess is much like the time of day it focuses on, twilight. It's a liminal space, not quite day, not quite night, and Twilight Princess is a liminal game, not quite amazing, but not quite average. The story is a good step forward, Midna is a very good step forward, but the wolf sections are two steps backwards. I love what Twilight Princess means for the future of the series, but by itself it pales in comparison to its predecessors.

Also when the fuck are we going to learn what's up with Ganondorf, I mean the guy is essentially immortal (it's the same guy in every game, whereas Zelda and Link are "reincarnations"), yet all he wants to do is conquer Hyrule, he's got to have something more behind him than just that. I want to hear his story.

Edit: Shit! I forgot about the music! It was nice, standard fare, Midna's song was quite good (it's the song that plays after you beat a boss), but other than that they only time I noticed the music was when it was playing remixes of Ocarina of Time songs (which isn't a good sign). Also the wolf howling sections can bite my ass. Seriously, whoever thought those up must have been deaf, because changing the pitches of wolf howls does not equal an actual instrument. My ears bled from those sections.

Egads And Then Some!

Completely lost track of time today, however in some slight form of apology I will be posting my review/rant of Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess tomorrow without fail (barring extreme things: death of family member, vomiting, battle to save mankind as we know it...).

I Just Don't Have Anything To Rant About

I just can't think of a darned thing to say. I'm pretty excited about Grand Theft Auto IV, mainly because I don't own any of the the III's (GTAIII, Vice City, and San Andreas) myself and I don't have a game that I can just pop in when my brain isn't working and just blow-shit up.

Yeah, that's about it. I'm going to blame poetry class for sucking all of the creativity out of me today. Also, I need to hear something stupid happening so I can rant about it, the world's been too intelligent as of late.

Coffee would also help.

Honestly How Do You Forget Who You Are?

I know that last week I said that I would post my review/thoughts on Zelda: Twilight Princess, but I won't be doing it until I can devote a single post to it. I am unable to devote this post to Twilight Princess, because yesterday I had something.

For the past couple of days I've been feeling pretty crappy, and all of my roommates going out and having fun outside the suite didn't help me feel any less crappy (I, feeling crappy, didn't want to leave the room). Saturday was an interesting day. The day started off beautifully, it must have been 75 degrees outside, sunny, just perfect, a day in a thousand in Tacoma (at least during the Fall, Winter, and Spring that I'm here for). Everyone was outside having fun, but because I was feeling crappy and down on myself, I locked myself in the suite (Also it was parent's weekend and for some reason I get angry when I see students taking their parents around campus, I don't really know why). Finally, a little before sunset I stopped moping, slapped myself a couple of times, and just kind of woke up. I mean, it was a perfect day, and I had spent most of it inside feeling lonely (because everyone was outside!).

I took a nice, meandering walk that confused a number of parents (My favorite quote was, [woman] "Why did that man just walk in a circle?" [man] "Nobody knows why crazy people do things, that's why they're crazy." and just enjoyed myself. I watched the sun set, and just had a great experience remembering who I am, and that I could go and do things by myself.

It seems odd that I would have forgotten those two things, or the fact that I prefer to walk next to sidewalks rather than on them, but I really had forgotten. So much of my time up here I spend trying to shape myself for the future. I change how I write and what I write about to please my professors so that they give me better grades, I change what things I enjoy to please my friends. I expand my horizons, but I begin to forget who I am. The pressure to conform into a certain type of person in college is amazingly high (just ask any conservatives at Lewis and Clark), and trying to prepare myself for my future career left me too amorphous for my own good. Even this site doesn't always hold my true feelings, I pander to an audience that doesn't even exist.

It's good in a way, that I can change like this. That I can predict what people want of me, what they want out of my writing. It means that I can adapt to a market and be successful as a businessman, but every once in a while I have to get back to who I am.

Best walk I've had in years.

Doug the Dork

Just gonna be a short post tonight as I'm going to go celebrate my roommates 21st birthday.

I got around to reading a video game review (Dark Sector) from the Oregonian that my mom printed out. Within the first two paragraphs I had already spotted something that the reviewer got wrong, and I haven't even played the game (actually I din't think it's out to the public yet, but I could be wrong). It wasn't even what he got wrong about the game, or the fact that he gave such a mediocre game a grade of B+, but his writing was terrible.

Worse than this, however, was the terms used for this review. The column is known as Game Dork: Tales from joystick land (really legitimizes the article don't you think), but really Elfman manages to alienate both gamers (from his lack of knowledge and language choice) and non-gamers (He uses a specialized vocabulary and assumes the reader knows how games flow). I understand that as a newspaper column he doesn't have a lot of space to work with, but he should at least told us why the game deserved a B+ and whether certain things (such as enemies being hard or puzzles being difficult) were pros or cons.

Worst of all is that this column (Game Dork), is printed in newspapers coast to coast. It's clear from this article that Doug Elfman hasn't played very many games, which makes me wonder how he can review them. The guy isn't a gamer, he doesn't have the experience, and he doesn't have the talent. But, since he made a name as a music, film, and television critic, he's become the voice on games for the non-gaming public. And here I wondered why people are so misinformed.

Thanks Doug Elfman, can I have your job?

[Can't Think Of A Title]

No post again; like I said yesterday, super busy. Also, it really doesn't help when I spend a large part of the day sleeping to make up for having to get up at seven in the morning to take a test. I need to sleep now so I don't skip class tomorrow, goodnight.

Eep!

So I lied, no thoughts on Twilight Princess today (yesterday really). All I can say is busy, busy, busy. Don't expect it tomorrow or Thursday either as the rest of my week is pretty well booked. School's been getting a lot more rigorous since Spring Break and I've been doing nothing but getting sleepier and sleepier. No more post for tonight as I have to be up in 5 hours and 13 minutes.

Simply Amazing

Today was an amazing day that started off super-shitty, but first, the backstory.

About two years ago I was at a pizza place in Chicago the night before me and my family were going to fly to Europe for vacation. My mom told me to go wash my hands, and as I exuberantly jumped out of the booth, my left foot got caught on the table leg. This resulted in me nearly wrenching my leg out of the hip socket. It hurt pretty bad, but in less than five minutes I couldn't feel a thing. The next day I woke up to find out that I couldn't get out of bed because my hip hurt so bad. Despite this injury I went to Europe and for nearly a month, walked around on this bad hip, finally getting some chiropractic help when I got back. My walking on the bad hip caused me to walk oddly and that led to some lower back problems, but thanks to my amazing chiropractor, I felt like new before I even had to go back to school. The bad part though was that his fix didn't seem to be perfect, and I still had to go back every three months or so and get readjusted, and if I got sick and started to feel achy, my hip would start to act up.

Phew, now you're caught up.


So last week, just before the weekend, I got pretty sick (thus the non-post Thursday) and my hip took it as the perfect opportunity to start acting up. After I recovered (Sunday or so) my hip stopped bugging me so much, but at 5 this morning I woke up in complete agony. My hip decided that I had spent too much time in my bed over the weekend and so it would start spasming a lot if I stayed in bed. For the next three hours I rotated between walking in circles in the common area and trying to fall asleep through the pain.

At about 8 I feel back asleep, but I had to get up at 10 for an appointment to get my ears checked as for the past couple of weeks I haven't really been able to hear in my right one
(I'm really breaking apart aren't I?). I felt pretty shitty from the disturbed sleep and my hip still ached, but in less than fifteen minutes I was done with the visit and had a completely functional auditory system once again. I got some breakfast real quick and then headed back to bed since I didn't have class until 1 (yes it is amazing) and proceeded to have one of the best dreams I have had in several years. This dream was amazing, it was probably the happiest dream I've ever had, and throughout the entire thing I was in an absurdly good mood.

Thanks to my dream, being able to hear, and my hip no longer hurting, I woke up feeling like a brand new man. I proceeded to crush through my homework and then went on to finish Twilight Princess (Thoughts on that tomorrow) before the day was done.

Man I haven't rambled like this in forever, and it's probably rife with errors, but I really needed to just vent this day out like this. It's just been too good of a day to proof-read.

Is It Awkward I Feel Like Julian of Norwich?

I had what I would call a "revelatory" moment today as I was deciding what classes to take next semester. I was writing down all of the courses that looked interesting to me and after I finished I realized that over half of the courses were, in some way, related to violence. This immediately prompted a memory of when I was in fifth grade and my mother was yelling at me for writing a terribly violent story for class after she had specifically forbid me from writing about violence.

This made me wonder what it was about violence that so intrigued me. I'm not particularly enamored with the idea really, and in games like Neverwinter Nights 2 I usually choose the diplomatic solution. Yet I am continuously drawn to read and write about violence.

Then I started thinking about the video game industry; how the media covers stories on how violent games are and how they increase violent tendencies in children who play them. I started thinking about how I was one of these children. I played video games, watched violent movies. I imagined how disturbing it must have been to have looked at the fifth-grade child who wrote this disgustingly violent story.

All of this led to me thinking about how violence is used in video games, how it's the only solution. Even in games where you can talk your way out of hostile situations (Fallout 1+2, Neverwinter Nights 1+2, etc...), there are always times where you are forced to fight with no alternative. When I realized this my mind hit some special place and, for a moment at least, I saw a different kind of violence. I saw a game in mind where fighting didn't always end with a specific winner, where losing didn't mean the end of the game, where people could even fight for fun like my roommate when he does Jujitsu with his friend. It's hard to describe, but I felt like all of my life, all of my interest in violence, that it's all leading to one big thing, one big story that's my purpose in life to tell.

It looks pretty pompous when I put it down in writing, but between this and something else, I think I might really be onto something big.

P.S. I'm pretty sure that story was about me fighting zombies on an airplane. Also, I spent that summer stuck in my room with only the books in my bookcase to keep me company and I don't think anything helped me grow as a person more than that summer.

I Feel Like A Zombie

Not feeling well, my brain is especially foggy and I have to study for a test tomorrow, so no post tonight.

Got Ya!

So I got a few more of you guys with that last post than I thought I would, so here's a quick refresher.

This is something that I have decided in heart to do, and I won't stop until the day I die. I may forget to update, I may get sick and take a break, but I will never give up writing.

I've noticed ever since I got from spring break I've been writing much shorter posts, I can blame some of it to school stepping up as it usually does after midterms, but the two largest factors are really that I'm finally working on a module that I like, and that the sun has been out.

Usually when I write these posts the sun has already set or it's rainy or overcast, lately it's been very nice out. What this means is that I'm out having fun or enjoying the sun, because I'm like some kind of plant-man that needs eight hours of sun a day or something. Honestly, when I'm in the sun my mood improves dramatically, and I don't want to be tied to a computer when there are people I can talk to and be excited with just outside my door.

Okay, I lied, there's another reason as well. Ever since Michael Abbott did his series on the Legend of Zelda series (Intro, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3) I've desperately wanted to play Twilight Princess, and lucky for me my roommate recently brought his copy up to Tacoma. Since it's not mine and I only have a limited amount of time to play it, as I only have about another month of school where I'm roommates with this guy, I've been feeling somewhat rushed. In response I've been bull rushing the game when I'm not doing homework or working on my module, which used to be my nap and work on my post time. I'll give you my impressions when I finish, but I really can't recommend Michael Abbott's series enough (or his site The Brainy Gamer) it says everything that I'm going to say at an unparalleled level of eloquence.

If you enjoy Michael Abbott's series on Zelda, then you'll most likely enjoy Leigh Alexander's series on Final Fantasy VII (Intro, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3).

Goodbye

This will be my last post.

Today I decided to give up writing forever. The stress, the feelings of inadequacy, it's all too much for me anymore. After I finish this post I'm going to head down to my Advisor's office and see if there are any other majors that I can complete in time to graduate next year. Thank you all for listening to me ramble and whine, but this is it.










































April Fool's, talk to you tomorrow!

P.S. Awesome, thank-God it's fake Legend of Zelda movie trailer. The creatures look pretty sweet, but Link, Zelda, and Ganondorf all look terrible.