I know that last week I said that I would post my review/thoughts on Zelda: Twilight Princess, but I won't be doing it until I can devote a single post to it. I am unable to devote this post to Twilight Princess, because yesterday I had something.
For the past couple of days I've been feeling pretty crappy, and all of my roommates going out and having fun outside the suite didn't help me feel any less crappy (I, feeling crappy, didn't want to leave the room). Saturday was an interesting day. The day started off beautifully, it must have been 75 degrees outside, sunny, just perfect, a day in a thousand in Tacoma (at least during the Fall, Winter, and Spring that I'm here for). Everyone was outside having fun, but because I was feeling crappy and down on myself, I locked myself in the suite (Also it was parent's weekend and for some reason I get angry when I see students taking their parents around campus, I don't really know why). Finally, a little before sunset I stopped moping, slapped myself a couple of times, and just kind of woke up. I mean, it was a perfect day, and I had spent most of it inside feeling lonely (because everyone was outside!).
I took a nice, meandering walk that confused a number of parents (My favorite quote was, [woman] "Why did that man just walk in a circle?" [man] "Nobody knows why crazy people do things, that's why they're crazy." and just enjoyed myself. I watched the sun set, and just had a great experience remembering who I am, and that I could go and do things by myself.
It seems odd that I would have forgotten those two things, or the fact that I prefer to walk next to sidewalks rather than on them, but I really had forgotten. So much of my time up here I spend trying to shape myself for the future. I change how I write and what I write about to please my professors so that they give me better grades, I change what things I enjoy to please my friends. I expand my horizons, but I begin to forget who I am. The pressure to conform into a certain type of person in college is amazingly high (just ask any conservatives at Lewis and Clark), and trying to prepare myself for my future career left me too amorphous for my own good. Even this site doesn't always hold my true feelings, I pander to an audience that doesn't even exist.
It's good in a way, that I can change like this. That I can predict what people want of me, what they want out of my writing. It means that I can adapt to a market and be successful as a businessman, but every once in a while I have to get back to who I am.
Best walk I've had in years.
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